Disclaimer
Many of my essays are quite old. They were, in effect, written by a person who no longer exists in that my views, beliefs, and overall philosophy have grown and evolved over the years. Consequently, if I were to write on the same topics again, the resulting essays might differ significantly from their current versions. Rather than edit my essays to remain contemporary with my views, I have chosen to preserve them as a record of my past inclinations and writing style. Thank you for understanding.
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Additional Disclaimer
I wish to explicitly distance this article from the contemporary usage of the term Men's Rights. When I first wrote this article in early 2001, the Men's Rights term had not gained as much recognition as it has since then. I was, in fact, totally unaware that there was such a thing as a Men's Rights movement at the time (although it appears to have origins in the 1970s). Since the time I wrote this article, the term has become commonplace and associated with an attitude, and apparent motives and goals, that don't align with my own. I could either change the title of this article to keep pace with the times, or add this disclaimer. I don't like changing old writing as it dilutes history, so I'm going with the latter option instead. Thank you for understanding.
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April 2001
Abortion and Men's Reproductive Rights
Vehemently pro-choice, but with some side-thoughts about men's reproductive rights
Brief Description
Simply put, I am absolutely, totally pro-choice. I don't care what your personal ethical take is on abortion. Neither you nor anyone else has the right to tell a woman what she can and can't do with her body, especially when enforcing your will over her body requires nine months of involuntary pregnancy followed by the climactically traumatic and painful experience of an unwanted childbirth. However, I have some key thoughts on men's reproductive rights, which seem to have slipped into oblivion somewhere along the way and I think this is a terrible disgrace for individual rights.
Full Description
Sections:
Abortion
I won't waste too much time describing my views on abortion. It's really simple. No one has the right to force a woman to undergo nine months of increasingly difficult pregnancy. No one has the right to force a woman to experience the physically torturous event of childbirth. To force that kind of pain and fatigue on another person is akin to torture, plain and simple. No one has the right to force a woman to go through the well-established emotional bond that occurs during childbirth with an unwanted baby. If your response to abortion is adoption then you are so naive that you hardly deserve my time. First of all, forcing the option of adoption on a woman doesn't solve any of the problems I just stated, pregnancy, childbirth, and emotional trauma. More importantly, adoption just doesn't work. There are so many children waiting for foster families that adding to that group only increases the number of children without families. To put it plainly, this amounts to increasing the number of children in the world who are quite simple unwanted. Besides, how does a solution which involves dumping your problem on someone else really count as a solution at all?
Men's reproductive rights
Enough about abortion, I want to discuss something much more complicated, men's reproductive rights. That is something of an empty statement actually. The phrase "men's reproductive rights" is essentially an oxymoron. There is no such thing as men's reproductive rights. When a woman becomes pregnant, the man involved instantly becomes that woman's slave for all intent and purposes. She holds his future, his fate, his very life in her hands and can mold the rest of his life however she sees fit. It is as if she holds the strings and the man is a marionette and she can toy with him however she pleases. She can get an abortion, she can have a child and absolve the man of responsibility (for which I don't believe there is any legal support), or she can force the man to accept financial responsibility. She can't actually force the man to marry her, but from a financial point of view, this point is irrelevant.
I seem to be leaning toward something of a contradiction. I adamantly believe a woman should have sole decision-making power over her own body, yet I believe a man should have power over his own reproduction. How can these two issues be resolved? I have thought this through in considerable detail and I believe I have solved the problem. The solution is not one that will be adopted by our society in the near future. Nevertheless, it is a solution in principle, if not in practice.
In the case of a pregnancy, there are four possible scenarios: both parents want the child, neither parent wants the child, the man wants the child and the woman doesn't, or the woman wants the child and the man doesn't. Of these four scenarios, two of them are immediately moot. If both parents are in agreement, whether for or against having the child, there is no dilemma and therefore no issue to be resolved. That's easy enough. Of the remaining two scenarios, one of those is also quite clearly moot. If the man wants to keep the child and the woman doesn't, then I say tough luck for the man. He will just have to sow his oats elsewhere. He has absolutely no right to force the woman to undergo pregnancy and childbirth just so he can have a child.
Of course, it is the fourth scenario that concerns me so greatly. What is my solution to this problem? Let me begin by reiterating my belief that the woman must maintain full power over her own body. In an ideal relationship, the man and the woman would come to a mutual agreement even if they don't feel exactly the same way about the situation. It would be my hope that no woman would have a man's child without his permission. This demonstrates a horrible lack of respect for the man on the woman's part, to run off with his seed, as it were, and go reproduce this man's lineage without his permission. Nevertheless, if a woman chooses to do this, I believe it is a matter of decency and respect, not of law, and the woman's right to do as she eventually chooses must be starkly defended.
The first document
However, I believe the man's right to refuse financial responsibility must be protected. Here's how this would work. The man would sign an official document stating that he gives no authorization and accepts no responsibility for this child. Obviously, the only way this can be considered fair to the woman is if there is a statute of limitations on this document. It must be signed by the man and the woman must be made aware of this fact early enough in the pregnancy that the woman can still reserve the option of getting an abortion. This wouldn't be a document that is signed by both the man and the woman because the woman could of course refuse to sign it. No, this document would solely involve the man.
Lest you accuse me of trying to defend all men's' right to abandon women with the financial burden of having a child, bare in mind that actually having the child is the woman's choice. She can always opt to get an abortion and therefore be as free of the financial burden as the man.
This perfectly solves the problem. No one is stuck with financial responsibility for a child unless they choose to accept that responsibility for themselves. The bottom line is that no one else can force such a tremendous financial toll on another person. The man can't force it on the woman (because she can get an abortion) and the woman can't force it on the man (because he can refuse to authorize the pregnancy). As I stated before, this must all be done early enough that the woman can still choose to get an abortion. If the man decided at 32 weeks that he didn't want a child, too bad, he's stuck with it at that point.
The second document
There is only one problem with my proposed solution. This "document" which I have described could motivate a woman to conceal her pregnancy from the man until it is too late for him to sign the document because it is too late for her to get a safe abortion. Let me first respond to this by harshly denouncing the ethical pillar of any woman who would purposefully deceive a man about the pregnancy of his own child. For a woman to do such a thing demonstrates such immaturity, such a lack of fundamental respect and decency, that a woman who does this basically shows through her actions that she directly lacks the responsibility and maturity to have a child of her own in the first place. Nevertheless, there are almost certainly many women would do such a despicable thing and protection for men must be designed for this possible situation.
Basically, what is needed is another document that proves that the man has been notified of the pregnancy early on. This could very easily be incorporated into the first document of course. This would involve the man signing this second document stating that he is aware of the pregnancy at a particular number of weeks into the pregnancy. By signing this document, he is acknowledging his awareness of the pregnancy, and therefore acknowledging his ability to make early decisions about the pregnancy with enough time for the woman to act on the basis of his decision. If a woman could not produce a document (presumably stored with the state in addition to a personal copy in order to prevent plagiarism) proving that she had notified the man (because she had deliberately deceived the man) then she would forfeit the right to force the man to accept financial responsibility (of course he could still choose to do so if he wanted).
Babies and legal documents. Maybe you're thinking I'm taking all the love out of having a child. Well guess what. Marriage is a legal document. It even involves a "license" of sorts, and marriage is the original "true love", is it not? Buying a house with a person is a legal document even though it seems like a perfectly natural extension of an otherwise love-based, pure and natural relationship. Why shouldn't the one thing that requires more sense of responsibility, more financial cost, more dedication of time and attention, having a child, require a fairly simple document that does no more than acknowledge that a man has been made fully aware of a pregnancy and the options that are available to him, thus protecting him from deception, trickery, and ultimately as I stated before, a form of forced slavery?
I would really like to hear what people think of this. If you prefer private feedback, you can email me at kwiley@keithwiley.com. Alternatively, the following form and comment section is available.
Comments
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2021/07/14 13:55:15 GMT |
By this reasoning, despite the pregnancy
being an accident that took two people, if
the woman keeps a baby the father
doesn’t want, now she’s doing something
to him by not doing what he wants with
her body. The responsibility all lands on
the mother.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2018/08/02 16:27:02 GMT |
testing comment system
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| Name: | What I say |
Date/Time: | 2018/01/04 23:24:45 GMT |
inferred just as much as the mother's. It needs to change and we need to petition our lawmakers for the changes.
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| Name: | What I say |
Date/Time: | 2018/01/04 23:23:42 GMT |
unless she wants to contest the reproductive provider to not be involved although this is an uphill battle as some
states are just now enacting laws to prevent rapist or forced pregnancies through illegal acts be allowed to fight for
custody. The point is that we do need to move forward as a society and provide men's rights that are inferred and just
as uncostly as it is for the mother's. A reproductive provider regardless of if they did everything right to ensure
agreements were at consensus in regards to prevention or non prevention of pregnancy was or wasn't discussed. The
system is archaic we say that the mother get's inferred rights but the reproductive provider is responsible and has to
pay. Yet times before the pregnancy he doesn't, we say the reproductive provider has to pay for the well being of a
child but we don't require the mother to show proof that the funds are being spent properly. The man point is that the
rights are needed for reproductive providers and should be as uncostly and (below)
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| Name: | What I say |
Date/Time: | 2018/01/04 23:16:19 GMT |
I think that this article and alot of the comments have a point. I think the biggest misconception I see in the
comments is that pregnancy prevention methods are 100% effective but they aren't. I even agree with the comment about
those in non upper class situations. I think that the problem is stated here correctly it's no secret that we live in a
Women's right society in regards to child bearing, rearing and choice. All states in the US allow a women to abort
without the other reproductive providers consent. All states automatically give rights of custody to the mother of
course with or without marriage. Then if the mother so chooses she can petition financial responsibility to the
reproductive provider and choose what she wants to do with those funds. If the reproductive provider wants to request
custody regardless of the reason they have to spend money and time whether using an attorney or doing themselves, in
regards to fees and costs. The mother has to do neither (continued below)
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/08/25 04:22:27 GMT |
Hi Keith. I am in a situation where the
woman I've known for 7 weeks is pregnant
by me and after expressing my thoughts
and feelings about the pregnancy and how
I feel it should be terminated. She is
moving forward with the pregnancy. I am
very frustrated that this woman would do
this fully knowing I am not in support of
having a child. What do I do?
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/08/25 04:22:23 GMT |
Hi Keith. I am in a situation where the
woman I've known for 7 weeks is pregnant
by me and after expressing my thoughts
and feelings about the pregnancy and how
I feel it should be terminated. She is
moving forward with the pregnancy. I am
very frustrated that this woman would do
this fully knowing I am not in support of
having a child. What do I do?
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/08/25 04:22:17 GMT |
Hi Keith. I am in a situation where the
woman I've known for 7 weeks is pregnant
by me and after expressing my thoughts
and feelings about the pregnancy and how
I feel it should be terminated. She is
moving forward with the pregnancy. I am
very frustrated that this woman would do
this fully knowing I am not in support of
having a child. What do I do?
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| Name: | K. Dessources |
Date/Time: | 2017/05/03 12:07:11 GMT |
I'm just with you 100 percent I'm going
through the same situation I feel like we all
have a option a baby is not something you
can roll over and say you going to have a
baby has to planned a foundation must be
built we should love one another before
we ever think about bringing another soul
into this world. A man should have his
rights on having a baby or not it's not fair
for a woman to try and control a man
future. Babies are way of a bigger
commitment then marriage, mortgage, and
whatever legal documents that must be
signed. So if a woman wants to force a
baby into world a man should have the
right to sign legal documents that all
responsibly should be on her if from the
beginning he wanted nothing of it he
wanted to wait for right time so the kid can
loved by choice not by force
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| Name: | K. Dessources |
Date/Time: | 2017/05/03 12:07:02 GMT |
I'm just with you 100 percent I'm going
through the same situation I feel like we all
have a option a baby is not something you
can roll over and say you going to have a
baby has to planned a foundation must be
built we should love one another before
we ever think about bringing another soul
into this world. A man should have his
rights on having a baby or not it's not fair
for a woman to try and control a man
future. Babies are way of a bigger
commitment then marriage, mortgage, and
whatever legal documents that must be
signed. So if a woman wants to force a
baby into world a man should have the
right to sign legal documents that all
responsibly should be on her if from the
beginning he wanted nothing of it he
wanted to wait for right time so the kid can
loved by choice not by force
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/04/23 21:54:59 GMT |
I think in any situation, it is a delicate one. My girlfriend is currently pregnant with my child although she told me
she was using contraception, and only told me later that she wasn't when she was already 11 weeks pregnant. It's a
terrifying and soul shaking situation to be in, she's told me she doesn't want it and she will definitely have an
abortion, but I don't feel like I can trust her and I can only pray that she follows through with it. I agree, it is the
woman's sole decision over what she does with her body and the child she has inside of her, but in any relationship
there needs to be trust and respect. If you have a one night stand with no protection, or with a friend or anyone,
unfortunately you must accept and deal with the consequences, but when trust and respect is severed, it becomes a whole
new situation. There must be a mutual understanding over the bearing of new life in any relationship, maturity and
rational thinking is essential. Good luck to everyone out there, it'll be ok, just not now.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/04/21 08:25:01 GMT |
I don't think you thought
this through. Your
proposal that women should
not "run off" with a man's
seed and have his child
against his will is
horrible, as well as the
idea that man can absolve
himself from financial
responsibility. The fetus
is 50% his fault. If the
woman wasn't financially
able to take care of the
baby on her own, your
proposal would force her
into having an unwanted
abortion which, depending
on the woman, could be
just as bad or even worse
than being forced to have
the child. So much for you
being pro choice. Her body
is HER body, and he has no
right to expect her to
have an abortion just
because he doesn't want to
pay for his own mistake.
If he doesn't want to risk
her having his baby
without his permission
then he should use birth
control or not have sex.
No woman should be forced
to have an abortion just
because a man doesn't want
to accept responsibility
for a fetus that is 50%
his fault.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/04/09 22:53:16 GMT |
men are looked at more favourably when raising kids on their own I mean..... each gender has difficult circumstances.... I think it
is too hard and the law cannot monitor such a thing as to figure out when and why a man does not want a child.... it's very time
consuming and the main thing the law is looking after is the child.... without it becoming a burden on the tax payers. It's
important for both women and men to make their choice of partner carefully and not have sex with someone they'd later regret...
take your time, don't have intercourse as there are other means of sexual pleasures. Women get to make the choice of having a
child or not and it's their choice of their own since it is their bodies and autonomy and that responsibility was lumped on us and
it's a heavy burdon to bare. If the man chooses to have intercourse with someone he does not trust with all his heart then he
should use a condom or not have intercourse or reframe from any sexual engagement with her until he finds someone more
suitable
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/04/09 22:30:53 GMT |
Yeah and how does it work for all those women out there who make a mutual decision to have children with a man she marries
etc and then he decides to have an affair and then ignore his kids and dodges child care payments.. or those men that say yes
yes then last minute change their minds. I know crap happens to both sexes when it comes to difficult circumstances when it
comes to raising children and having the burdon of cost and set backs in the career but let's be honest.... many more women
than men are left to raise the children and when it is the other way round men are looked at more favourably. I think there are a
lot of unfair things that just is because of our gender make up. You are suggesting to go back to the early 20th century and
maybe the parents of the women who happen to get pregant by men who say they don't want kids (can mislead) will be made
responsible of dealing with the financial cost causing it to be pressure on the family which causes more strict upbringing on girls
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/04/09 22:30:44 GMT |
Yeah and how does it work for all those women out there who make a mutual decision to have children with a man she marries
etc and then he decides to have an affair and then ignore his kids and dodges child care payments.. or those men that say yes
yes then last minute change their minds. I know crap happens to both sexes when it comes to difficult circumstances when it
comes to raising children and having the burdon of cost and set backs in the career but let's be honest.... many more women
than men are left to raise the children and when it is the other way round men are looked at more favourably. I think there are a
lot of unfair things that just is because of our gender make up. You are suggesting to go back to the early 20th century and
maybe the parents of the women who happen to get pregant by men who say they don't want kids (can mislead) will be made
responsible of dealing with the financial cost causing it to be pressure on the family which causes more strict upbringing on girls
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/04/09 22:30:36 GMT |
Yeah and how does it work for all those women out there who make a mutual decision to have children with a man she marries
etc and then he decides to have an affair and then ignore his kids and dodges child care payments.. or those men that say yes
yes then last minute change their minds. I know crap happens to both sexes when it comes to difficult circumstances when it
comes to raising children and having the burdon of cost and set backs in the career but let's be honest.... many more women
than men are left to raise the children and when it is the other way round men are looked at more favourably. I think there are a
lot of unfair things that just is because of our gender make up. You are suggesting to go back to the early 20th century and
maybe the parents of the women who happen to get pregant by men who say they don't want kids (can mislead) will be made
responsible of dealing with the financial cost causing it to be pressure on the family which causes more strict upbringing on girls
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/01/11 22:03:06 GMT |
This is stupid. Your defending if a woman
does want to have a abortion that it's ok it
her body but if she doesn't bc she just
don't want to kill her child that the couple
BOTH made whether it's a mistake or not
that man need to deal with the mistake.
My "boyfriend" is trying to convince me to
get an abortion after he has told me he
wanted a child with me and if we ever had
one whether it was the right time or not we
will be good also the child but that
changed as soon as I found out. Men are
Devils
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2017/01/11 22:03:00 GMT |
This is stupid. Your defending if a woman
does want to have a abortion that it's ok it
her body but if she doesn't bc she just
don't want to kill her child that the couple
BOTH made whether it's a mistake or not
that man need to deal with the mistake.
My "boyfriend" is trying to convince me to
get an abortion after he has told me he
wanted a child with me and if we ever had
one whether it was the right time or not we
will be good also the child but that
changed as soon as I found out. Men are
Devils
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/08/16 17:36:29 GMT |
What if the man changed his mind after
getting her pregnant and she desperately
wants the baby? Fuck this article.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/08/03 19:57:13 GMT |
This is great! I know a man who
unfortunately was dating 2 women at the
same time. After the other woman spilled
the beans to his girlfriend she all of a
sudden "forgot" to take her birth control
pills. Later on she admitted to him she did
it on purpose and she wanted to ruin his
relationship with his girlfriend and ruin her
life. He intent wasn't even about getting
even with him it was about her jealousy
towards his girlfriend. He asked her to
have an abortion, she said no, she got
she wanted and now he is stuck. She had
twins and is now on welfare. He warned
her that if she kept the kids it was all her
responsibility, she was fine with that while
she was pregnant but now she bashes
him on the Internet and calls him a dead
beat but doesn't tell anyone how she
betrayed him because she no longer
wanted to be the other woman she initially
signed up to be when he honestly told her
about his girlfriend. He wants to give up
his rights but I don't think you can unless
she is marrying someone who wants to
adopt them
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/08/03 19:57:07 GMT |
This is great! I know a man who
unfortunately was dating 2 women at the
same time. After the other woman spilled
the beans to his girlfriend she all of a
sudden "forgot" to take her birth control
pills. Later on she admitted to him she did
it on purpose and she wanted to ruin his
relationship with his girlfriend and ruin her
life. He intent wasn't even about getting
even with him it was about her jealousy
towards his girlfriend. He asked her to
have an abortion, she said no, she got
she wanted and now he is stuck. She had
twins and is now on welfare. He warned
her that if she kept the kids it was all her
responsibility, she was fine with that while
she was pregnant but now she bashes
him on the Internet and calls him a dead
beat but doesn't tell anyone how she
betrayed him because she no longer
wanted to be the other woman she initially
signed up to be when he honestly told her
about his girlfriend. He wants to give up
his rights but I don't think you can unless
she is marrying someone who wants to
adopt them
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/07/15 19:18:33 GMT |
Wish there was something in
place now. Just knocked up my
girl who is also my 1st
cousin. Told the family and
her that I didn't want it and
she still only 6 weeks
pregnant but wants to keep it
and threaten me with child
support and such just bc I
said I didn't want the inbred
parasite. Man I already have
4 kids.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/07/15 19:18:25 GMT |
Wish there was something in
place now. Just knocked up my
girl who is also my 1st
cousin. Told the family and
her that I didn't want it and
she still only 6 weeks
pregnant but wants to keep it
and threaten me with child
support and such just bc I
said I didn't want the inbred
parasite. Man I already have
4 kids.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/05/08 22:58:21 GMT |
I believe things do need to change. I had
sex twice with a friend. It was just a bit of
fun on both our parts. She said she was
on the pill and even took one in front of
me. She also already has a child from her
ex and said she really struggled to get
pregnant and it wouldn't happen and even
if the worst happened she would take care
of it. So we had sex without a condom.
She contacted me the other day saying
she's pregnant but not to worry she's
sorting it. Over the last few days she
keeps changing her mind. One minute
saying she'll have an abortion and the
next saying she wants to keep it! Feel like
she's just messing with me. I've explained
that I want children more than anything
but not like this. I want to be in a loving
relationship. She said I don't have to be
involved but it will kill me knowing my child
is out there being brought up by someone
else. Totally feel tricked and robbed of my
first child. I'm devastated
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/05/08 22:57:26 GMT |
I believe things do need to change. I had
sex twice with a friend. It was just a bit of
fun on both our parts. She said she was
on the pill and even took one in front of
me. She also already has a child from her
ex and said she really struggled to get
pregnant and it wouldn't happen and even
if the worst happened she would take care
of it. So we had sex without a condom.
She contacted me the other day saying
she's pregnant but not to worry she's
sorting it. Over the last few days she
keeps changing her mind. One minute
saying she'll have an abortion and the
next saying she wants to keep it! Feel like
she's just messing with me. I've explained
that I want children more than anything
but not like this. I want to be in a loving
relationship. She said I don't have to be
involved but it will kill me knowing my child
is out there being brought up by someone
else. Totally feel tricked and robbed of my
first child. I'm devastated
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| Name: | God |
Date/Time: | 2016/03/28 06:02:19 GMT |
A woman I was dating told me she was taking birth control but I later found out she
wasn't. She said this when she insisted that I shouldn't wear a condom (over my
objection). Now, she's avoiding pregnancy tests and will not respond or cancel when I
offer to take her to Planned Parenthood. When I mention abortion for worst case scenario,
she says nothing. She's from another country, and I think someone who gave me advice
might be right that she's trying to trap me. Maybe I just have bad luck, but many women
I've dated do no want me to use a condom. I have difficulty refusing sometimes, so I'm
thinking I need to get a vasectomy to be safe or otherwise I'll just need to avoid sex
since women can destroy your life if they so choose. If this woman decides to have a
child, she'd be incredibly stupid as we're both mentally ill and neither of us have much
money (I'm disabled and only have a small income). She basically just gets her living
paid for but doesn't have much extra.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2016/02/26 00:23:12 GMT |
I have a son that is facing a similar situation, these young people are not ready for
parenthood. He knows that, but she cant terminate. They are not mature enough. I find it
appealing that she can ruin both of their lives and possibly her child's to and he has no
vehicle or mechanism by which to protect himself from it. There should be a legal way for
him to declare to the world that if she chooses to do this, she chooses to do it alone in
every regard because he doesn't want to proceed.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/12/10 02:53:19 GMT |
What about if a man knowingly willing
produced a child and then changes his
mind. What do u say to that? I think
yes men should have a right but if a
man is not protecting himself and is
having unprotected sex with a woman
he does not want a child with than that
is his fault. You have to protect yourself
as a man and know what u want and
don't want. I am 12 weeks pregnant
this baby was planned. Up until I was a
month in a half this person was all in.
Things changed and one day so did
they. My world was turn upside down.
Here I was giving myself to a man
allowing him to give me a child and
now he has changed his mind and
wants to take it back. What do u say to
that how can u say that he is not
responsible financially when at one
point he wanted it he allowed it and
gave it! I also think u are a man and
this a mans point of view. Abortion isn't
a solution just because it's an option
what about being responsible for your
actions just like anything we do in this
world!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/12/10 02:53:09 GMT |
What about if a man knowingly willing
produced a child and then changes his
mind. What do u say to that? I think
yes men should have a right but if a
man is not protecting himself and is
having unprotected sex with a woman
he does not want a child with than that
is his fault. You have to protect yourself
as a man and know what u want and
don't want. I am 12 weeks pregnant
this baby was planned. Up until I was a
month in a half this person was all in.
Things changed and one day so did
they. My world was turn upside down.
Here I was giving myself to a man
allowing him to give me a child and
now he has changed his mind and
wants to take it back. What do u say to
that how can u say that he is not
responsible financially when at one
point he wanted it he allowed it and
gave it! I also think u are a man and
this a mans point of view. Abortion isn't
a solution just because it's an option
what about being responsible for your
actions just like anything we do in this
world!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/10/09 05:10:56 GMT |
I love your essay. No one is
thinking about the men. I'm
raising FIVE boys. I know
what girls are capable of.
I've seen guys go down rather
unfairly,forced off the
college path,forced into low
paying jobs or drug dealing,
license suspension etc.
You're right, slavery.
Everything you said.
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| Name: | Sergey |
Date/Time: | 2015/08/02 05:22:33 GMT |
I would suggest a compromise.
Let's say that a dad who refuses paternity early in the process only has to pay child support for the first 5 (five) years, unless he fails to pay those payments promptly and in full, in which case the period can be extended.
Then it would be enough of a burden for the men to be responsible, but would still protect them somewhat against the ridiculous situation in question, namely, where protection was used, by the woman has subsequently changed her mind about pregnancy, which might happen as a result of the pregnancy itself. Also, almost nobody is an angel, and the woman can at least subconsciously hope to improve her standard of living through child support, even though her ethical standards won't allow her to think such thoughts, and that combined with the natural desire for motherhood can lead to such decisions. Presumably, if a woman is old or unattractive, and doesn't have a career, she is more likely to make such choices as well.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/07/15 21:35:07 GMT |
I've actually had this very thought before. I've watched one of my male friends be put through so much stress and anger because he knocked up some crazy broad who held the fact that "I can choose not to go through with the abortion even though we agreed, so fuck you you better do what I say if you don't want to pay for 18 years". There is however one tricky aspect. My niece's incubator (shit head absentee mother, doesn't even deserve the title)didn't know she was pregnant until she was 5 months. Rare, but not unheard of. Then it's too late to have an abortion, regardless of what either party want. I'm curious as to what a solution in this case could be
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/05/27 17:55:45 GMT |
if both sexes Dont want a child then they should become gay then you dont have to worry
about a cild
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/05/27 17:55:17 GMT |
if both sexes Dont want a child then they should become gay then you dont have to worry
about a cild
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/03/31 02:02:23 GMT |
So my tax dollars are going to finance your sex life? Sex makes babies, you father a baby you pay
for baby, not me!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/03/05 17:39:04 GMT |
I think gender roles have to
evolve so this can work. I'm
a very independent woman so
when I found out I was
pregnant, I agonized over my
choice and ultimately
decided, independently, to
keep my baby. I told my
partner I have no
expectations about his role
- I want him to choose as
freely as I did. But I can
imagine if I were a more
conventional woman (ie
trained to be emotionally
dependent and confusing that
with romance or love) it
would be a horrible choice
to have to make: abortion
vs. motherhood with no
support. And the difficulty
a conventional woman would
feel with that choice would
not be her fault: it would
merely be an outcome of her
upbringing because females
are still trained to be
needy. And for such a woman
to have to make such a
choice just because her
partner chose to come in her
would be really unfair. As
long as we as a society
collectively work to heal
the weakness embedded in the
feminine gender role, your
great idea will work
someday. Until then, guys,
don't sleep with typical
girly girls unless you want
to be responsible for
potential pregnancies, or
it's just not fair to either
of you.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/02/14 20:48:17 GMT |
Given that I am pro-life, I cannot fully understand the pro-choice position, but there are certainly elements of it that I have
sympathy for and I try to understand the position as best I can. My understanding of being pro-choice is that they do not
consider themselves to be "pro-abortion" but believe that this is a deeply moral decision that should not be made by the
state. Thus, being pro-choice would not mean saying "abortion is always an easy decision if it meets your needs" but "this
is a very difficult decision, and women should not be pressured by the state to make this decision either way." Your
argument seems to change abortion from being a deeply moral decision about the lives of three people involved (mother,
father, developing baby) into some power game between two people who may or may not have been acting responsibly.
Another problem with your argument is that I believe that you have a misconstrued understanding of equality between men
and women. Your argument seems to be based upon the premise that "equality means if women get certain legal rights,
then men do too- equal protection must go both ways." The problem with this understanding of equality is that it is limited
to legal equality, and does not account for the continuing substantive inequality between men and women. Women and
children continue to be (as groups) overrepresented in terms of poverty and abuse. When you argue that if the man does
not want the child he should not be financially burdened, then most often (though of course not always), you are protecting
the financial assets of the one person in this equation who has the most over the woman who on average is making 77% of
what the man is making and the child who is more likely than adults to be living in poverty (especially for unplanned
pregnancies). The law is intended to provide fairness to all but also to address real power dynamics that disadvantage some
people over others (employers v. employees, landlords v. tenants, etc.). You are advocating for financial protection of the
one person in this scenario who statistically has the most, over those who have the least.
In the case of making a decision about an unplanned pregnancy, women need more say in the decision because it effects
them more deeply:
1. Terminate the life of the child growing inside them - which has shown to have negative emotional effects on her
whenever there is outside pressure to have an abortion.
2. Put up the baby for adoption - while in many ways a great option, she still has had her body producing hormones that
physiologically binds her to this infant, which she needs to deal with
3. Radically change her life to accommodate for raising the child when she doesn't feel ready, knowing that this will make
her life more emotionally and financially strained.
This argument you put forward is advocating for putting even more pressure and hardship on the woman in this scenario,
and for what, to protect a man's money?
Of course there will be particular cases where the man is indeed wronged - like if he was raped or already in a challenging
financial situation. There should indeed be measures in place to protect men in these awful circumstances, but a better
method would be to advocate for men's rights in terms of being taken seriously with proper protection in cases of sexual
assault, and not being shamed and being provided for if they need financial support as a single dad, possibly even for child
support. But to argue that being forced to provide financial resources to meet the needs of his child because he didn't want
him/her is "slavery" is a very sad reflection on our self-centred culture. There continues to exist real slavery in the world
where people are owned and abused and not valued as a human being, and this should not be compared to those of us who
live in some of the richest countries in the world wanting to protect our financial assets and self-perceived right to be free
from responsibility to others.
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| Name: | Kwan w |
Date/Time: | 2015/01/18 19:33:59 GMT |
I literally googled I want her to
have an abortion and your article
came up. First of all let me state
that I'm against and for abortion. I
know it's the woman's choice but
if I'm not ready to have a child and
you are, you are solely
responsible for the happiness and
well being of that child. I know
that I'm not in a position to
provide but accidents do happen
and by accident, I don't mean the
child itself. I mean not
intentionally trying to get
pregnant. I believe that it would
be smart to not have a child if
you're not prepared. In my case a
woman is pregnant and she wants
to keep it but I advise her that it
wouldn't be wise to do so. She's
more unstable than I am and
much older than me and already
has an 8 year old daughter. She
herself is 38. Seriously there are
so many variables why bother?
Save the unborn child from an
unsavory life and don't bring it in
the world in the first place. Smh
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/01/09 06:52:58 GMT |
The problem with your arguments are they are what bothers you personally, rather
than taking into consideration everyone involved. You interpret women being
forced to give birth and bond with a baby against her will as torture, yet you
claim there should be a limitation on when a woman can have an abortion. You are
practically making the anti-abortion argument 100% valid. You somehow think a
pregnancy is a baby at some point... At what point is it? If a woman wants to
have an abortion when a fetus is viable verses semi-viable or hours, days or
weeks before viability, what difference does it make. Limiting her decision to
have an abortion at any point in pregnancy is forcing her (in your mind,
torturing her). You seem to be making some odd argument a fetus matters at some
point, but don't want to get into detail about it.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2015/01/09 06:52:58 GMT |
The problem with your arguments are they are what bothers you personally, rather
than taking into consideration everyone involved. You interpret women being
forced to give birth and bond with a baby against her will as torture, yet you
claim there should be a limitation on when a woman can have an abortion. You are
practically making the anti-abortion argument 100% valid. You somehow think a
pregnancy is a baby at some point... At what point is it? If a woman wants to
have an abortion when a fetus is viable verses semi-viable or hours, days or
weeks before viability, what difference does it make. Limiting her decision to
have an abortion at any point in pregnancy is forcing her (in your mind,
torturing her). You seem to be making some odd argument a fetus matters at some
point, but don't want to get into detail about it.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/12/21 06:40:33 GMT |
I personally love the thought and idea very fair to all
parties involved
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/12/18 21:57:19 GMT |
It's quite simple if men do not want the responsibility of children then get a vasectomy or abstain. Same for women. Once a man ejaculates in a women the seed can make a baby and he looses control over it. If you don't want a baby with a woman who does. You shouldn't be sleeping together, your incompatible. No one has the right to force abortion on a women. Men if you want control exercise it before you have sex.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/11/16 04:06:28 GMT |
I completely agree with your logic, as a mom with two sons. If the pregnancy was accidental, and the girl refused
to have an abortion, against the wishes of my sons who were not ready, then she should be fully prepared and
compelled to take on the full responsibility of her one-sided decision. No having your cake at someone else's
expense. Any help from the father would be voluntary.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/09/27 01:39:26 GMT |
your an idiot.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/09/05 17:11:58 GMT |
Very interesting well thought out article. My question is a
practical one: how will teens and marginalized people under
various stressors be able to deal with so much beurocracy
and paper work in the short window of time when all these
documents are to be finalized? I suppose this is a detail to
worry about when and if these laws are someday in place, but
this is something to consider.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/07/21 23:22:07 GMT |
2 years later "oh it "might be yours" In CA I'm fucked. So how does that work, that the STATE can just
put the burden on me with so little as a name???????
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/07/21 23:22:04 GMT |
2 years later "oh it "might be yours" In CA I'm fucked. So how does that work, that the STATE can just
put the burden on me with so little as a name???????
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/07/21 23:21:59 GMT |
2 years later "oh it "might be yours" In CA I'm fucked. So how does that work, that the STATE can just
put the burden on me with so little as a name???????
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/07/01 06:02:40 GMT |
I realize that you are pro-abortion. (Actually being "pro-choice" would have to apply to ALL
choices. Do you think rapists should face no penalty? If your answer is "no," then you are not
pro-choice. There are choices you oppose.) But people who oppose abortion are not trying to
control a woman's body. People who oppose abortion believe that the child deserves not to be killed
on a whim. Abortion supporters either believe the child should have no rights or refuse to
recognize the child as a child at all. I'm sure some are convinced that it's "just a blob." But it
does no good to misrepresent your opponent's position.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/06/11 19:49:04 GMT |
If a man doesn't want to end up in one of these dilemmas he should 100% use a condom. No. Matter. What. Too many men complain about condoms and then cry when they have to pay out for a child. Use a condom. Decide when to have a child. If an accident occurs be grown up enough to discuss a solution. Birth control pills don't always work and don't rely on them.
1. Forcing a woman to go through a pregnancy against her will amounts to torture, I agree
2. Forcing a woman to go through abortion is also not good.
3. Forcing a man to lose a child is also not good.
Nothing in life is fair, we can't ever make it fair. It's just better to plan for children with 2 parents who are committed, it is better for all those around. Its time to stop cheapening sex and treat it with the respect it deserves.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/05/21 01:56:11 GMT |
""Besides, how does a solution which involves dumping your problem on someone else really count as a
solution at all?""
EXACTLY , SO WHY KILL A BABY HUMAN BEING AND DUMP YOUR PROBLEMS ON THEM BY KILLING THEM? HUH? How is
KILLING A SOLUTION. All people who believe in abortion should have been aborted to save the human
race. if a huge earthquake kills all but .000000001 percent of mankind, WE NEED ALL THE HUMANS WE
CAN TO SURVIVE OR GO EXTINCT. Marriage happens the second you have sex, thats was God says and no
"Christian" believes this cause tehy look down on people who have sex and aren't "legally" married
but just live together. I hate this and makes me sick to my stomack. when you have sex with someone
you are united to the person in that act. im done, i dont care anymore im going to sleep. whatever ,
blah blah blah,radical cray here talking stupid stuff blah blah compsircacy cracy nut... whatever.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/05/21 01:33:25 GMT |
THIS COMMENT IS RIDICULUS "No one has the right to force a woman to experience the physically
torturous event of childbirth. To force that kind of pain and fatigue on another person is akin to
torture, plain and simple. No one has the right to force a woman to go through the well-established
emotional bond that occurs during childbirth with an unwanted baby."
YES THE BABY HAS THAT RIGHT, ITS CALLED THE RIGHT TO LIFE YOU FOOL. AND GOD MADE WOMAN HAVE PAIN AS
A CURSE OR ELSE IT WOULD NOT BE PAINFUL YOU FOOL. LETS JUST BAN YOU FROM THINKING, CUASE NO ONE
SHOULD BE FORCED TO HAPPEN BY CHANCE TO READ YOUR COMMENTS.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2014/04/08 19:16:11 GMT |
This is so true we need more thinking of this nature. As a man we have NO choice or say of any kind. If she doesn't want to
abort the child there is adoption. And the list for waiting parents is huge. Why should the man suffer because the woman
wants to keep it. This is just not fair.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/12/17 21:28:19 GMT |
The post was about making reproductive rights equal between the sexes. If you think it was about the satisfaction felt by
woman after an abortion, you should probibly reread essay. I can see you are passionate about abortion. However, it
seems your passion has blinded you. Please take the issue of reproductive rights equality more seriously.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/11/21 08:56:28 GMT |
Abortion = I'm not ready to be a mother. (Legal)
Deny Financial Responsibility = I'm not ready to be a father. (Illegal)
"My Body, My Choice, HIS Wallet"
If I buy a car you don't approve of, but I love it, can I force you to pay the monthly payments and maintenance ? NO.
If a woman has a child the father doesn't approve of, but she loves it, can she force him to make monthly payment (C. Support) ? YES.
"You don't how it feels to be pregnant" to that I say "You don't know how it feels to be financially raped, psychologically scarred and demonized by society for doing something over 4000 women do DAILY by way of abortion; avoid parenthood."
"But what about the innocent fluffy little baby, how can yo DO THIS" to that I say "what about the innocent fluffy developing babies who are mutilated with forceps and dumped in garbage bins, how can you DO THIS"
As long as women have the "right" of when and to whom they become mothers to, men should enjoy this right as well, so RUN MEN RUN!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/11/19 16:48:29 GMT |
If a woman decides she doesn't want a baby, she can abort it without the husband's permission. And
yet, if the man doesn't want the child, he will be forced to pay child support, because, they say,
it takes two people to make a baby. Which is true. And men shouldn't be allowed to abandon their
responsibilities. However, the same is true for the woman. She shouldn't be allowed to abandon her
responsibilities of caring for the human who is alive. It takes two to make a baby, and the man
should have an equal say in whether or not the child is aborted, because it is his child too. He
can't force a woman to get an abortion, and she shouldn't force him to have his child aborted.
For those who say that men should have no say, then I say that men shouldn't have to pay child
support. If abortion is a woman's way out of her responsibility, then men should be allowed to
simply leave, to get out of their responsibility.
And a solution to an unwanted baby/adoption/the pain of pregnancy, is to not have the baby at all.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/11/19 16:42:36 GMT |
@ Anonymous (that posted 11/14/2013)
I understand your logic, but that assumes no intention whatsoever.
If you are driving with the intent to kill, and you kill. And you should be punished for it.
If you are driving with the intention to get to work and someone rear ends you, THEY should pay for
your damages. You did NOT want that damage. If you do not use a seat belt and someone drives into
you and you die, it is not YOUR fault but the wreckless driver. You didn't give permission for that
driver to crash into you. If you did allow it and died, then it's your fault.
With sexual intercourse: if your intention is to be intimate with someone and NOT reproduce, then
that is what should be set out to happen. If pregnancy occurs, abortion should be the option (or a
morning after pill) because the decision/intention was SET.
Pleasure was put here for us to enjoy, not dance around like it was fire. Your ideas are silly and
you might as well not live at all if you can't enjoy things like intercourse or driving.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/11/14 01:43:27 GMT |
I read your article carefully. I too have some thoughts on reproductive rights that apply equally to men and women.
If you are going to drive, recognize that there may be an accident and you may suffer bodily harm or die or lose your property. You can wear a seatbelt or not drive. If you do choose to drive, accept the possible consequences.
If you are going to engage in sexual intercourse, recognize that there may be an accident and you may suffer loss of certain liberties or loss of money. Wear a condom or use birth control or do not have sexual intercourse. If you do choose to have sexual intercourse, accept the possible consequences.
Another thing, if an unwanted child is born and your partner decides to keep him or her, remember it is the child you created who will suffer from lack of financial support. It is the child who will face hardship through no fault of his or her own. So, be very careful with your sperm and eggs. Use protection or do not engage. Or if you do, accept the risk.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/11/14 01:42:12 GMT |
I read your article carefully. I too have some thoughts on reproductive rights that apply equally to men and women.
If you are going to drive, recognize that there may be an accident and you may suffer bodily harm or die or lose your property. You can wear a seatbelt or not drive. If you do choose to drive, accept the possible consequences.
If you are going to engage in sexual intercourse, recognize that there may be an accident and you may suffer loss of certain liberties or loss of money. Wear a condom or use birth control or do not have sexual intercourse. If you do choose to have sexual intercourse, accept the possible consequences.
Another thing, if an unwanted child is born and your partner decides to keep him or her, remember it is the child you created who will suffer from lack of financial support. It is the child who will face hardship through no fault of his or her own. So, be very careful with your sperm and eggs. Use protection or do not engage. Or if you do, accept the risk.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/10/31 03:29:08 GMT |
My daughter made it very clear she was against abortion and made it clear she was not on birth
control. When she became pregnant the father insisted she have an abortion or he would disappear. He
knew he was taking the chance of pregnancy but had unprotected sex anyway. I personally don't think he
should have any options of not supporting the child. He played Russian roulette and lost, but still
left my daughter holding the baby.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/09/22 04:57:10 GMT |
My mother in law hate me so much that she wanted me out of my husband house because i have been unable to give her a grandchild i never knew what to do one day when i was at my working place a friend of my told me about how she had a spell cast on her by this man named Adodo and after which her life came back to normal so i chosen to give him a trier which i did contacted him on his email: dradodojattotemple@yahoo.com after which he get back to me and told me what i need to do and also how my problem was going to be solve and after 1month i started seeing changes in me i and so happy now that i can now give birth to my own child and my mother in law is now happy with me since i have been pregnant for her son.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/08/12 11:53:15 GMT |
i wish this would happen my girlfriends pregnant 5 weeks and she told me she coudnt get pregnant after 9 months of going out i
believed her and to be honest i think she also thought this truly but now she says shes against abortion and is having it im younger
than her and dont want it im not ready to be a dad and want to do loads more with my life and career
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/06/12 23:35:23 GMT |
"to run off with his seed, as it were, and go reproduce this man's lineage without his permission."
If a man is worried about that then he shouldn't be giving her his seed in the first place. Your so called first document fails because it is just an attempt to proceduralize a declaration of “This is YOUR problem not mine”, which that is wrong in the first place.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/05/28 06:01:57 GMT |
My girlfriend murder my unborn child and it has fucked my life up. I wanted our baby
more then anything, and since she murder my child I have never hated life more. The
fact the one women I loved more then anything has the solo choice of keeping me
punished and miserable because of her choice is horrible. Yes its her body, I understand
that but what people seam to forget is 90% of guys like myself also goes through the
same symptoms as the women does, I was so connected with my child and her that I
had just as many symtpoms as her. I even remember loosing the connection with my
baby the second she text me telling me she took the pill. To say its an exscuse for her
having a say and me not to when iam the father is bullshit. Every second of everyday
iam torcured by the thoughts that I could be a dad right now holding my two month old
boy/girl, the fact that the one job I had to the baby was to protect them and by law I
couldn't even do that, you tell me how there is any right for it to be acceptable.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/05/22 17:56:38 GMT |
so don't have sex. have sex with a male buss all u
want. I so disagree if u can buss u can except
responsibility
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/04/27 18:18:27 GMT |
You are ignorant and selfish and not very philosophically wise. " No one has the right to force a woman to undergo nine months of increasingly difficult pregnancy. No one has the right to force a woman to experience the physically torturous event of childbirth. To force that kind of pain and fatigue on another person is akin to torture, plain and simple. No one has the right to force a woman to go through the well-established emotional bond that occurs during childbirth with an unwanted baby. If your response to abortion is adoption then you are so naive that you hardly deserve my time. "
Let me correct you... No one has those rights except the women herself choosing to have sex which, any sex has the potential to create a life. You should accept that you're making yourself go through those things if you are a woman deciding to have sex. Its your own fault if you have sex and get pregnant, no on forced you to have sex, unless you got raped but that is a special scenario I would still argue for adoption.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/03/25 03:26:45 GMT |
Sorry I disagree with all this. Woman love who love there partners will a lot of the time have intercourse to keep there partners
happy. We all know love and sex are 2 different things. So when woman do this as an act of love and respect for there
partner then they get pregnant and the husband says I want you to have an abortion. Hay wake up mate you've had your
pleasure didn't bother you then now accept the responsibility. My x husbsnd and I had a son he was 1 year old I dropped
pregnant when my son was almost 12 months old. He wanted me to have an abortion so I respected his wishes and did just
that i went and had the coil fit. He said we would try again for another in a few years when our son was a little older. I could
live with this but later he never mentioned it years went buy he bought quad bikes, cross bikes got into financial hardship so I
ended up having an affair and my affair and marriage ended. My x husband is now living with another woman who has 2
children while I'm on my own with our son.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/02/16 17:08:08 GMT |
I completely agree that if women want to have true prp choice then if they choose to have a child out of wedlock then legally
the man shouldnt have any financial liaibility. Until that isnt really pro choice it is just women having it any way they want.
Furthermore if there is no chance of financial assistance, unless the man chooses, it may reduce unwanted pregnancies.
Then the woman would truly have pro choice rights and may ensure she either abstains from sex or ensures there is
protection.
I believe in woman's rights but it seems SOME women want things to a certain point then want allowances. For example they
want to serve in military and combat but dont want to held to same physical fitness standards. As a Marine I'd see the PFT
standards are much easier for women. So if women TRULY want equality and that is great but they can only achieve that by
taking it all the way....
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| Name: | Pro Male Abortion |
Date/Time: | 2013/02/08 21:32:12 GMT |
I totally agree!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2013/01/01 01:52:14 GMT |
here is why i disagree. The reason men should have to pay is because if they can just walk away they start REGRETTING it and they almost always come back! If he's going to leave the bastard should NOT be able to change his mind!!!!
there are women out there that will let a man walk away cause she understands this, but then 3 years later he changes his selfish mind again and fucks the woman over
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/12/21 09:32:22 GMT |
I am pregnant. I did not believe I could become pregnant. I had my last child 14 years ago. I know how children are made
and so does the father. My first child's father has cost me more than 100,000.00 in legal fees in one year. The court
system is a slow process that has failed my family. In my current pregnancy I am considering an abortion because I fear
have a fear of another eighteen years of fighting for a child. The child's father is unemployed and makes no effort to
provide for even himself. I fear him trying to take my child as a source of income. I am offered little protection by our legal
system. Where do I feel his choice ended? I quess when he decided not to use protection. He can move on. He is not
sick, his body is not effected nor is his body, career, or emotions. I can afford this child alone, but not another legal battle to
keep an irresponsible father out of that child's life.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/11/08 04:25:01 GMT |
It's going to be very hard to get it so that men have any rights in this regard. Equal is only equal as the women's movement says it is. However, the biggest problem is this. Though there are some women that pay child support, and there are some guys that actually have custody of their kids, the child support "industry" is a $500 billion a year business(latest est. for the US) for courts, lawyers, etc. If men had reproductive rights a VERY big piece of that business would be gone. Do you think they want to give it up?
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/10/31 05:51:34 GMT |
you are 100% right... It is completely illogical that a woman can walk away from a pregnancy but a man cannot... I wish we would implement this
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/10/17 20:40:18 GMT |
As a woman who is pregnant and the father has always been very clear that he was not yet ready, I
agree with this writer. It is unfair to bring a child in the world when the father has from the
start of sexual relations has been clear on his stance of fatherhood. While I am on the fence, I
have agreed to go through with the abortion. I am unemployed and am already depending on my
boyfriend to pay rent for us. We are committed and he is talking of marriage soon and children 5+
years later, but neither of us are ready for children. Couples should always talk about their
parental desires before having sex and have an action plan in place. I found out three days ago
about my pregnancy. The abortion is schedule and the first appointment at the clinic has taken
place. We will be stronger and love each other more than a baby could ever force us to be.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/09/04 06:54:38 GMT |
Signing any forms BEFORE sex is a ridiculous suggestion. It would suck all of the humanity and romance out of a date (or any hook
up situation). If signing a form is what is necessary, it should be a form connecting to being a father, not opting out. Far too many
men become fathers without their knowledge and are hit for past child support at a later date. Therefor, if a woman would need to
prove that a man not only want to be a father, but knows that he is going to be a father....That however, is not what I feel is ideal. I
feel that there should be no government mandated child support at all. I feel that it is wrong to treat unmarried couples any
differently from couples who are married. My parents are still married and the government did not mandate what and how much
they spent on me, or whose pay check my needs were met from, so long as my basic needs were met. If my father wanted to pitch
in anything extra, that was his choice.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/09/01 06:43:43 GMT |
I disagree with the document, but if anything, it should be signed BEFORE they have sex.
Men don't get to opt out of fatherhood once she is pregnant and women don't get to opt out of a both physically and emotionally invasive procedure since she must choose between giving birth or having an abortion once she is pregnant.
No, men should not be able to be relieved of the financial burden for the child because it's unfair to us tax payers who are already supporting many of your unplanned / illegitimate children
If men truly wanted reproductive rights, they would:
- Remain abstinent / stop screwing everything with a pulse. Be as selective about who you men share your bodies with as you expect women to be.
- Women tend to be in charge of the birth control/contraceptive side of sex. How many of you men actually insisted on using not only a condom, but a back-up form of birth control/contraceptive as well? I'll bet none because your goal was to have a "good time" instead of avoiding a pregnancy.
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| Name: | TedTheAtheist |
Date/Time: | 2012/08/26 19:39:42 GMT |
I have a better document - where you have to have the man opt-in in order to be held financially
responsible by the government. If he never signs anything, then he owes nothing, and it's between the
man and the woman only.
@TedTheAtheist
www.facebook.com/tedtheatheist
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/07/08 20:10:27 GMT |
Brilliant
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/07/08 19:29:40 GMT |
how do we make this a bill?
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| Name: | Brittany |
Date/Time: | 2012/06/29 16:48:38 GMT |
As a 100% pro-choice woman, I think this actually a very fair and balanced approach to creating a little more equality between men and women when it comes to child baring.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/05/23 18:48:47 GMT |
I
I completely agree with this statement!! It's disgusting how there is this sick double-standard.....PS I am a woman posting this.
Women are sick and twisted and do whatever they feel like regardless of the long-term damage they may cause. Men should be as
protected as the women.
Name: How Stuff Works Date/Time: 2011/11/17 20:11:24 GMT
Women can avoid parental responsibility at every turn. Before sex, keep your legs closed, after sex, take the morning after pill, or
have an abortion right up to the delivery date. Even after giving birth, a woman can avoid all financial and parental responsibility by
simply abandoning the newborn at a state-funded safe haven drop-off centre and if all else fails, she can give up the child for
adoption or even outright murder the newborn/baby with soft or non-existant legal penalties. For anyone here to claim that men
need to take responsibility for their actions is the height of hypocrisy and dare I say, anti-male bigotry.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/05/23 18:48:40 GMT |
I
I completely agree with this statement!! It's disgusting how there is this sick double-standard.....PS I am a woman posting this.
Women are sick and twisted and do whatever they feel like regardless of the long-term damage they may cause. Men should be as
protected as the women.
Name: How Stuff Works Date/Time: 2011/11/17 20:11:24 GMT
Women can avoid parental responsibility at every turn. Before sex, keep your legs closed, after sex, take the morning after pill, or
have an abortion right up to the delivery date. Even after giving birth, a woman can avoid all financial and parental responsibility by
simply abandoning the newborn at a state-funded safe haven drop-off centre and if all else fails, she can give up the child for
adoption or even outright murder the newborn/baby with soft or non-existant legal penalties. For anyone here to claim that men
need to take responsibility for their actions is the height of hypocrisy and dare I say, anti-male bigotry.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/05/23 15:15:09 GMT |
with the way men are treated in the u.s. i left 10years ago. i've had my inheritance taken by my father's wife he went blind an she tryed to kill him after taking all there was.i had to move in to keep him alive.i've had a woman spread rumors about me abusing her when all i wanted to do was get away from her destroying my job and life in that town. i left nursing along with 5 other men after the abuse we were put through. i quit america mainly because of the women tho bush was the finial straw.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/05/16 22:36:16 GMT |
Men should be able to walk away from a child the same as a woman. If a woman gets pregnant then it is
her decision to raise the child financially and not the mans. If she chooses to keep the child and he
doesn't want to be dad, then it should all be on her.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/05/04 00:13:28 GMT |
I am in that situation right now, I definatly want her to get an abortion. Reading the article, its trying to rise the high
horse of being about human rights and responsibility, but its about being selfish. Yes I am selfish and I don't want
anything to do with having a kid with her, but dont try to say that you all about her rights. I plan to get a vasectomy after
this.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/05/03 12:03:18 GMT |
It happens EVERY DAY and it is the children who suffer!!! I have NO respect for woman who deceive
men in this manner and cheat these children of a healthy life. If I were one of these children and
my mom kept me for love and never mentioned that dad and went on with life with out him or his money
and sacrificed for my future...naybe I would be ok with that. But if I were the child of the woman
who spent the next 18 years badmouthing the father and fighting for his attention and money, I can
only imagine how my life would be DOOMED! These woman are AWFUL!!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/04/16 22:24:08 GMT |
I'm a single mom and my boyfriend is now a
forced single dad. I use ford because when the
girl got pregnent that agreed that since they were
both students, he was living with his parents and
she was homeless they'd get an abortion. She
changed her mind and is now forcing him to
jump through the court hoops and there's
nothing at all he can do. I used to be all for the
mom but it's not right there's nothing a man can
do unless someone else wants to take over his
slavery but why would anyone do that? Free
money is great!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/04/16 21:50:00 GMT |
My 19 year old son is in this position after an older woman from his school seduced him one night. He used a condom, didn't break
or leak - yet she is miraculously pregnant. Her Christian parents are trying to force him into marrying her - he doesn't even like
her...I am furious that we have no rights at all and I am in for 20 years of trying to protect his financial rights. We don't want
anything to do with her, the child, or visitation or financial support. Her friends are all pregnant or have kids, her cousins getting
married or pregnant and use is thrilled. I am very wealthy and within half an hour of taking a pregnancy test she was asking me how
much I would be paying her. I don't care if I have to send my son to Paris or one of the countries that don't have reciprocal
agreements - she will not get one cent from us. Why isn't there a male contraceptive - it is ridiculous that when men take ALL
precautions, this can still happen.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/04/16 19:19:52 GMT |
My 19 year old son is in this position after an older woman from his school seduced him one night. He used a condom, didn't break
or leak - yet she is miraculously pregnant. Her Christian parents are trying to force him into marrying her - he doesn't even like
her...I am furious that we have no rights at all and I am in for 20 years of trying to protect his financial rights. We don't want
anything to do with her, the child, or visitation or financial support. Her friends are all pregnant or have kids, her cousins getting
married or pregnant and use is thrilled. I am very wealthy and within half an hour of taking a pregnancy test she was asking me how
much I would be paying her. I don't care if I have to send my son to Paris or one of the countries that don't have reciprocal
agreements - she will not get one cent from us. Why isn't there a male contraceptive - it is ridiculous that when men take ALL
precautions, this can still happen.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/03/21 04:29:21 GMT |
Absolutely no one can force a woman to go through pregnancy and birth, with this I agree. However, unless she was raped
no one forced her in the situation in the first place. People should take responsibility for their actions. Yes, it's a little unfair
that the woman has to go through pregnancy and birth and not the man, but that is the way nature made it, and
tranplanting the uterus to man is simply out of the question. I think she and he should accept responsibility as opposed to
killing an unborn child. It's a woman's body and she has a right over what happens to it, so if she got pregnant and was not
raped, it is equally the man and woman's willing choices that lead them their. Adoption is not a great option, but there has
got to be a better solution than abortion.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/03/14 04:47:35 GMT |
My younger brother is in exactly this situation now, he continually tells his gf of six months whom he attempted to leave
and is now miraculously pregnant that he doesn't want this child, she is still able to have the abortion, and agreed to make
a decision together but has gone ahead and decided without him anyway, it is a horrible situation, he has no income and
is studying to try to make a career for himself and she is no better but is demanding he pay child support if he leaves
her.do you have any advice or is he quite literally fucked? enjoyed reading this by the way
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/03/13 07:12:24 GMT |
i completely agree how ever what if for instance a man were coerced to into giving a woman a baby the relationship didnt work out because of her cheating and then one month after breaking up decides to call the man and inform him that she is pregnant the man doesnt want to be with the woman and wants nothing to do with the child and says he wants to get an abortion which she propley denies and flees the state then he stuck paying child support for the rest of his life aka the man is me thats what happened what about us pre this fictious contract. what about us the ones who didnt make the cut by what ever date this document was enacted.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/02/28 21:59:42 GMT |
And btw, I'm sure abortion can be traumatic for some women, but for any of you that believe it's traumatic for ALL women, no,
it's not. Not once have I missed the cells that were flushed from my lady parts thanks to a set of pills taken in the comfort of
my own home. Never have I wondered what those cells could have become. In fact, every day I am thankful that I had and
continue to have the right to choose. I just hope that some day men will have some rights too.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/02/28 21:27:21 GMT |
I couldn't agree more. I am engaged to a man who has three children (twins and a third) with a woman he did not love and
that took advantage of him during a difficult time in his life. He never wanted any of the kids and even though I think he is an
idiot for continuing sleeping with her after she produced two kids at once, I know he urged her to get an abortion and she
sees him as a nothing more than a paycheck. He had no rights then and has none now. He is stuck paying $1500 a month to
woman that never had any business reproducing, and I feel like I have lost the right to have a child with him when we are
ready because of her choices. Women hold all the cards and this continued attitude of "it takes two" is ridiculous. No, it
doesn't. It only takes one to make the decision to keep, abort or adopt.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/02/14 05:01:22 GMT |
I am in this exact situation now, my ex fell pregnant after she'd stopped taking the pill (she'd neglected to mention this to me of course and assumed everything would be ok). We broke up before she knew she was pregnant.
I didn't want a child, but regardless she's having it and she has moved interstate to have the baby, thus removing any chance I would have had at giving care myself.
This leaves me in a situation where I am up for the full child support payment, when I already have a mortgage by myself and am on a fairly modest income. To put it simply this is going to wreck my short term financial life.
Most commonly a woman's perspective on this is "You had sex with her so you're responsible".
I agree with the poster however I believe that you can't have any form of legal document over an unborn child, which would mean waiting until the child is born.
Anyway, in my case I am trying to make the best of it.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/02/11 06:07:24 GMT |
This is genius!! Take this as far as you can!! EVERY LAST WORD!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/02/05 07:03:20 GMT |
My friend is 16 and a girl that he is not in a relationship wiv is keeping the sperm he gave her, even with hours of tryin to
persuade her to get an abortion She is not having none of it plus she is only 15!!!!! Wat can he do ????
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/01/31 04:18:21 GMT |
Hahahaha!! I bet a woman wrote this?!?! LOL Maybe you should be smarter and keep your legs closed instead of opening them to anyone who tries to have unprotected sex with you!!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2012/01/17 10:47:43 GMT |
Hahaha!!! I am guessing it is a man that's wrote this!!?! Loll perhaps one could also say that the man 'authorises the
pregnancy when he bullshits the woman into thinking he will always be there and then has unprotected sex with her!! You
FOOL!!!
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| Name: | The Woman |
Date/Time: | 2011/12/22 18:11:47 GMT |
I have just read your essay and must say I do strongly agree to a point. You stated "First of all, forcing the option of adoption on a woman doesn't solve any of the problems I just stated, pregnancy, childbirth, and emotional trauma." You seem to forget the emotional trauma in pregnancy alone plays very strongly on each woman's choice. What happens when a woman agrees to abortion for the man even when she does not want to abort? What about the times the woman tells the man she needs his help to go through with it and he walks away. If that woman makes it clear that she can not follow through with abortion on her own and he leaves providing no support other than a demand or suggestion, does this in fact absolve his responsibility? What responsibility? He never accepted it from the beginning. She is left to do what she can handle emotionally. Sometimes this results in the birth of an unwanted pregnancy but a loved child. Is it right that he walk away without another thought or any responsibility? I think not.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2011/11/26 23:37:13 GMT |
No one forced her to have sex.
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| Name: | How Stuff Works |
Date/Time: | 2011/11/17 20:11:24 GMT |
Women can avoid parental responsibility at every turn. Before sex, keep your legs closed, after sex, take the morning after pill, or have an abortion right up to the delivery date. Even after giving birth, a woman can avoid all financial and parental responsibility by simply abandoning the newborn at a state-funded safe haven drop-off centre and if all else fails, she can give up the child for adoption or even outright murder the newborn/baby with soft or non-existant legal penalties. For anyone here to claim that men need to take responsibility for their actions is the height of hypocrisy and dare I say, anti-male bigotry. Compared to women, the one and only opportunity the man has to exercise his pittance of a reproductive "right" is by wearing a condom during sex, and even then, if the woman is determined to impregnate herself with the man's used condom without his permission, she is to entitled to 18 to 21 years of extortion payments at the man's expense. This is a sick society full of hypocrisy.
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| Name: | Santa Xruz |
Date/Time: | 2011/10/01 22:43:52 GMT |
If a woman chooses to 'marionette' a man into the position of permanent financial responsibility, for an act that he never endorsed,
or furthermore never knew about until it was far too late (as was my case), she has demonstrated an ineptitude for the basic
compassion for human life as seen in others. This, to me, negates the ability to care for a child effectively without ulterior motives.
Be damn all those who conscript our good brothers to this period of 18+/- years of fiscal shackle for their inability to ponder the
repercussions of their actions or who fear reprimand from their peers!
My question, to those who would be so vile, is how badly do you want to be a single mother?
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| Name: | Keith |
Date/Time: | 2011/08/25 |
NOTE THAT ALL COMMENTS OLDER THAN THIS ONE PREDATE THE COMMENT SYSTEM. They originated as email feedback and have been retroactively converted to public comments to seed the new comment system. As such I have redacted them where appropriate for the purpose of preserving their anonymity.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2011/06/06 |
I just read your essay and though I agree with some points there is one major flaw imo. I'm vehemently against allowing men to absolve themselves of financial responsibility by merely signing off a couple of documents. Theoretically a man could impregnate as many as he wanted and absolve himself of financially supporting any of his future offspring. Granted there are women who pop out children left and right and don't financially support them, but they're the exceptions.
Just my two cents.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2011/03/24 |
HI Keith,
How are you? I have just read your rambling on abortion / mens parental rights.
and I agree to a point. I have found out recently that my partner is pregnant, unplanned of course. I would opt to abort the pregnancy as I am in no position mentally, financially, or domestically to bring a child into my life. However she feels differently. She is leaning towards keeping it and I turned to the internet for some guidance.
When I came across your writings I couldn't agree more! Everything else I have read is
"you cant make her do that" or "its her body" or "be a man" comments.
And I agree whole heartedly with your position on Yes, it is her body and I know I cant make her, but as all these people say "it takes 2 too tango" so shouldn't the man get 50% of the decision? According to society no.
I guess this is one of those double standards we live with now days.
i.e if a woman sleeps around shes a slut, if a man does hes a stud
if a woman gets pregnant she controls everything, the man dosent.
I just wanted to let you know it was a relief too see I am not the only one that feels this way.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2010/08/23 |
Hi there,
I read your essays and had to write back as I really do disagree. Your suggestions may be relevant in the case of an unplanned pregnancy or where a man has made it very clear that he does not want children up front. However, we all know that contraception can fail so what happens then -- whose responsibility is it to take the contraception -- I would suggest if a man really does not want children then he should take the responsibility for contraception and if it fails he would still need to take responsibility. Maybe he should sign a form at this stage!
but surely the issue should be resolved before this happens. My own situation is as follows :
I met a [...] man -- fell completely in love and he was the one who rushed in first with these words. He asked me to marry him [...] and we were planning to move in together -- I had been living in another city for work and I even resigned and planned to downsize my career so we could start out lives together. He had a flat in [...].
[...]
So I'm afraid it's not so easy as the man signing a form after a girl becomes pregnant -- men aren't always honest and they do change their minds. The issue needs to be discussed before she gets pregnant and if there is a mistake a man needs to take responsibility as well. We can't start to ask a woman to take responsibility for everything -- I think woman encourage men to abandon their responsibilities and it's about time we stopped. I agree that some woman may take advantage but I don't think this is the norm -- why should the minority punish the majority? If I had gelt that the pregnancy was my mistake or planned without his knowledge I would have considered not asking him for anything but given that he had just changed his mind I don't see why I or the baby should suffer.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2010/08/05 |
I just read your opinions about Men and Reproductive Rights. My husband of now [...]. He had a fling [...] How is he supposed to have the same emotional bond? [...] My family thinks we are making the right choice for our future....his I feel judges me and blames me entirely....I think my husband is over this...I just think it sucks for men. Don't women realize what year it is?
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2010/02/07 |
I wish this was true. I asked my wife before we got married to get an abortion. She went ahead an had him anyway. I wasn't ready for marriage but being a fool I offered it to her. She accepted and my life has been a disaster ever since. Though I love my son, the family burden is too much. I have been married [...] yrs and seperated [...] of them. Being with my wife has caused me legal, emotional, and pyschological problems. Had I the option of not having a child, I could have finished school, but I had to work. My wife due to me working finished school and soon as she did she ran off with another man. He didn't marry her, but yet I am stuck without a career burdened with a child that I don't want. But I have to do for him out of responsibility. It is time consuming and adrous. But I wish she had an abortion, I wouldn't have married her if she did not have my kid.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2008/04/02 |
Brilliant. I've had similar ideas as well. I'm glad to see I'm not alone.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2008/01/26 |
Excellent!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2007/04/12 |
Keith thank you for your article, the way I found it was just doing research. I have a question for you. I can respect the article you wrote especially on mens reproductive rights, in which we actually have none. I have a situation for you and I would like your opinion, especially because you do not know me and you would be totally neutral.
In [...] I had unprotected sex with a female---stupid I know. I havent drank alcohol since. I knew her, but obviously not that well. Anyhow, she is [...], I am [...]. We would talk from time to time, I told her I was involved with someone. I explained to her, that I didnt like her in that way. I never led her on, she agreed and told me thank you for letting her make a choice and not lying to her about my situation. Something happened between us on [...]. Prior to this she told me she was on the pill, and that she was not trying to have kids by me or anyone else and not to worry. Something happened, I stopped myself in the middle of it, i told her i couldnt do this, this wasnt right, and i apologized for using her, she told me no problem, i didnt use her. Ok no prob....now on [...] she tells me she is pregnant. Now...she also told me that she was with someone else New yrs eve, new yrs day, and she was with someone else after me....So I am panicking of course.
[...]
as you can tell, i am lost here...any suggestions?
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/09/02 |
The problem with your position is that it ignores the emotional process that women go through when they become pregnant. There is no easy way to resolve the emotional turmoil of the decision making process. I agree that men should not be forced to be parents if they don't want to have children. However, the only true solution is for men in such a position is either sterilization or sexual abstinence.
I'm presently counseling a pregnant and conflicted [...]-year-old girl, which is why I came across your blurb. Neither she nor her partner intended for a pregnancy to occur. Birth control was used. However, someone has to be in that 5-10% failure percentile, and now she's pregnant. The man doesn't want the child. She is very sensitive to his feelings on the subject, but she is emotionally a wreck going through the decision making process, even though she is only a couple of weeks along. The biological reality is that when they learn that they are pregnant, some women bond very quickly and very strongly. They have no control over the attachment they feel and there is no easy answer to the question of what to do. Carry the pregnancy and she is alienating her partner, whose feelings she understands. Abortion feels like murder to her, because she has bonded so strongly to the concept of the baby. Adoption is just a 9-month abortion, emotionally speaking.
Men and women both need to understand that if they have sex, they risk pregnancy, no matter what precautions they take short of surgery. Proposing that men be allowed to opt out of the process after the "oops" takes place ignores the reality of, well, reality. In addition, let's not forget that children instinctively miss their biological parents, even if they don't know that they are adopted. Same thing only worse if they know that Dad is out there somewhere but he opted out in the early part of the pregnancy.
There is no easy solution. Honesty between partners, including a conversation in advance about the "oops" factor, is the best path. But even the best path isn't without obstacles because no one ever really knows what they will feel until it happens.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/08/24 |
I read your document. i am in the 4th situation. I really think it is too early and wll prevent us to realise ourselves as indiciduals and as a couple, but she want the Baby. It is really more than about the money. I will not feel free by signing a paper rejecting any financial responsability. The fact is that a child from my blood would be alive and fatherless. money has 0!!!!!!! importance in this for me, and I am far from milionnaire. I think a lot of potential fathe would think the same.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/07/28 |
Hi there, i just found your page while searching for mens rights in pregnancy due to my girlfriend has decided that she wont have an abortion even though that is what we had agreed upon several months before we even had sex. And at this age (im currently [...], and so is she) a baby can clearly wreck someones life, i am in full favour of your document, would you ever consider offering it up to parliament, i know there are a few ways to propose ideas without being a MP. Also would you happen to know of any existing laws that could help me in my case, i appreciate any reply you may send, thank you.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/05/29 |
Hi Keith,
I ran across your views about the reproductive rights of a man.
I agree. I am a feminist and have written a collection of
essays on feminism, abortion, and religion.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/03/12 |
Dear Mr. Wiley,
I just got done reading a paper on Abortion that you wrote in April of 2001 dealing with Men's Reproductive Rights. The scenario that you laid out about the woman wanting to have a child and the man not wanting to have the child is the situation I find myself in today. I recently found out a woman that I had a one night stand with is pregnant and she is seriously contemplating having this baby. Currently she is [...] weeks pregnant and I am hoping that these are just her initial thoughts and that reality will set in for her as she is [...] years old and still lives at home with her parents. I am also [...] years old but I am no where near mentally, emotionally, and/or financially ready to father a child. All of which our points that I have brought to her attention including various other points as well. I am seeking any kind of help or advice from anyone I can find to help persuade her into having an abortion or allowing me to be free of her irresponsible decesion making. I am hoping that you will write me back with some advice or possibly a contact number so maybe I can could give you some more detail on my situation. Thank You.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/02/18 |
You say a man can sign a document freeing himself from financial obligation, and this is justified because a woman can free herself from financial obligation as well by having an abortion. This just doesn't work because a man can free himself not only from financial responsibility but from the emotional and physical pain of choosing to have and having an abortion, where the woman cannot escape that. What do you think?
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2006/01/26 |
Hi,
I just read your article on abortion and I think it provides well thought out logical steps towards men's rights. I have seen and heard of many a good man be thwarted by a woman because of the impression left on her by a low life. And just as there are men who are deceiving there are women who so of equal standing. I myself have known and met women who have trapped and ruined the lives of men who could have achieved their dreams and goals in life. The reason why I am writing to you is two fold. First of all, I would like to applaud you on your ideas and thoughts. You have definitely put many questions and facts in perspective and there's quite a bit to be learned from your article.
The second reason is that my girlfriend is vehemently against abortion and against pro-choice. She feels that abortion via the morning-after pill is akin to killing someone. Having no science background, her knowledge is acquired via online articles . Being an [...] and having a grasp on biology, I believe that the morning-after pill does NOT kill a human being. Instead it kills a cell that has the potential to become a human being but the key point is that a potential is all there is to it. She also says that if she gets pregenant before marriage she would have the child. She's [...] from graduating from university and [...] in debt. Is it fair to ask me to pay any more than what she would do for the child simply because I can afford it? Mind you I have no intention of raising a child if I don't think it can be looked after financially and emotionally by me or my girlfriend. My question to you is when do you think the embryo that is formed becomes a child? Because the minute it is formed, it is NOT a human being. It is a cell. It has NO heartbeat, NO nervous system and definitely NO brain. In other words, it is NOT a person and most importantly it can NOT feel pain. She condemns me by saying I would be trying to kill my own child if she got pregenant and I urged her to have an abortion.
On another note and this is hypothetical since the possibility of it is so rare. She says that if she got raped she would keep the child and would expect me to accept it because if I refuse to do so then I'm indirectly refusing to accept her. She says rape is no excuse for killing a child or more correctly taking the morning-after pill. Isn't it likely that child could grow up to be a rapist or murderer. And most importantly I have all control over my life. It is my decision whether I choose to accept it or not.
Now considering none of these scenarios have unfolded since we use condoms and we see no obvious danger I was hoping you could shed some light on this. What are your thoughts? Is she being ignorant and stubborn? My close friends suggest I should move and find someone who make decisions based on logical reasoning and sound knowledge but that's another story.
I will look forward to your reply.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2005/10/28 |
Your proposal sounds like a great idea which I support. The only issue with it is what if a woman isn't certain of who the father is? I believe paternity can only be determined after birth.
Just wanted to hear your thoughts.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2005/09/30 |
Are you still here?
"Why shouldn't the one thing that requires more sense of responsibility, more financial cost, more dedication of time and attention, having a child, require a fairly simple document that does no more than acknowledge that a man has been made fully aware of a pregnancy and the options that are available to him, thus protecting him from deception, trickery, and ultimately as I stated before, a form of forced slavery?"
Why isnt there a "license" to reproduce??! It is far harder to get a drivers license, mortgage, or credit card than to reproduce! Why??!!!
I support your proposal on the male abortion. It is long over due, in today's society, where all kinds of technology is available to prevent an "unwanted" pregnancy.
If a pregnancy DOES happen, it can only mean that it is WANTED to happen.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2005/03/01 |
My [...] has just found out his girlfriend is a matter of days into pregnancy. From having not wanted a child she now wants his baby after a three month relationship. He does not want a baby, is ill, and a student. He is caught by the short and curlies. His girlfriend was on the pill, but obviously something went wrong, possibly as a result of her binge drinking with her girlfriends. How responsible a mother? I am not pro abortion: however, this is very early days, and she can hardly be said to have any security to offer a child, apart from her love, very important I know. But how sad to choose to bring a child into the world when it is not really necessary in this day and age,. Another single parent, doing her best, needing state support, and without a partner to share the burden, a child who one day may feel very sad at the rejection by her father. My son will be a very dedicated Dad one day. He loves children, but not necessarily now, because he does not want marriage or a child while he is still recovering from long term illness. Your proposals sound so sensible. I will show them to him.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2005/01/12 |
Hi Keith,
I was searching the internet for answers this morning. I came across your
article about Men's reproductive rights. I totally agree with everything
you speak of on your site. I received a sad call from my [...] yesterday,
a woman who claimed to be on birth control, whom he slept with only twice...
is claiming to be pregnant by him. He does not want to have this child
brought into the world in a single parent home, nor can he afford a child
right now. She does not want an abortion and she does not want to do
adoption. She wants to keep the baby, and is claiming that she will not
come after my brother for any financial support.
He still does not want this child to be born and if it has to be, he'd
rather opt to adopt the child out at birth. I'd like to know if there are
any laws currently in place where a man has the right to sign his rights
away early on. This just doesn't seem fair to me. He was very clearly
misled by this woman, and I look at it as if she stole something from him.
She is currently [...] weeks along, and I am aware that he needs to take action
now. Any advise or direction would be appreciated.
Thanks!!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2004/09/23 |
Dear KWiley,
I myself am in this position and was online doing research to see what my rights are. I'm [...] and the girl is [...]. She claims that she wants to keep it and is totally bypassing my say in anything. As i was reading your document i was like wow, this guy is right on, and i was thinking the same thing if not using some of the same exact phrases prior to reading your 2 excellent documents. So now my question is; Is there a legal document that exists that can be signed by her saying that she wants full financial responsibilty and custody and that i am exempt from any financial responsibility? She obviously wishes to keep it and claims that her fiance who she became recently engaged to and is in the military at the age of 19 will take care of it with her. They're going to married soon but I can't help but think what if something goes sour in their relationship and she tries to go back to me. I want to protect myself from this and hope this whole mess can be avoided. If you could reply to this email it would be greatly appreciated.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2004/04/11 |
Mr. Wiley,
I read your article, and I agree with you on all points. I don't have much else to say, but thank you for writing it. I'm going to link your article, if that's ok with you.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2004/08/29 |
I have a [...] who has had a few girl friends. His first one had a child which he did not want and he made amends and has supported that child ever since she was born. She is now [...] Years of age and he has maybe 5 years left for child support. He was in a relationship with another woman recently. She wanted to have a baby and he said he didn't want one. She took it upon herself and got pregnant while she was on the pill.(yeah, right) Now he has tried to get her to have an abortion. that didn't work. He broke up with her. that doesn't work. she is a real piece of work. Now he has a death sentence of child support. He is [...] years of age. He will be paying more in child support for these two children that are "cash crops" for the mothers than anything else. What can be done? We need help and fast for she will have the baby soon.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2004/06/15 |
Mr. Wiley,
While your thoughts on men's reproductive rights clearly reflect a "labor intensive" thought process, I have to disagree with the idea as a whole. I support a woman's right to choose -- that is, to choose to have marital relations (married or not). After that, she and the father, having already made their choice, need to accept the consequences of their actions. No one is forcing the mother to continue a pregnancy she didn't want. If she didn't want it, she shouldn't practice the act that creates life. She, and the father, asked for it by participating in the act. You see, I don't argue with the fact that life begins at conception. We should not have the legal right to take away the life of another human being. Regardless of your decision not to spend much time on it, your logic is flawed. It is not the woman's body that is being legislated; it is the baby's. An unborn child has his or her own unique genetic make up, and is a human individual at conception, regardless of what one's opinion of he or she may be.
I do agree that unprepared parents may very well be bad parents, but I believe the solution is to expect more from people. I believe we should have higher standards in our society about with whom to conceive children, at what stage in our lives, and within the bonds of marriage. I am not proposing this be legislated. However, if we keep expecting less and less, that's exactly what we'll get.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2004/04/13 |
I feel your document is a disgrace. What right? What choice does a man have with neglecting and abandoning his own child? If he's choice is never wanting financial responsibility then he should keep his penis in his pants and learn safe sex plain and simple. Otherwise he is also acting irresponsible and immature.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/12/24 |
Dear Keith,
Reading through your comments on your web page. About men's rights on abortion. It appears that none of the comments on your page cover my problem.
[...]
Is it at all possible for you to tell me if there are any rights for me, with my circumstances, because we had sat down and talked about having a family together. I've been through two scans, and actually seen part of me growing. So we had talked serious about the whole thing. Can she actually do this?
Regards
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/11/15 |
You've invited feedback on your idea about abortion and men's reproductive rights, so here goes. Frankly, I think a better idea is for men not to get women pregnant in the first place, especially when they know they don't want the financial (or other) burden of raising offspring. And if men don't _know_ that they don't want a baby until after a conception has taken place ... well, I think if they're that thoughtless, then they deserve whatever they get. Personally, I've found modern male contraceptive technology (ranging from condoms to vasectomy) to be absolutely effective.
Incidentally, your "rambling" on abortion and men's reproductive rights/responsibilities has prompted me to ponder a tangentially related question. Very often, people arguing in favour of abortion bring up the example of the woman who has conceived as a result of rape. I wonder if a rapist has ever been made to take financial responsibility for his spawn? I have never heard of this happening!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/10/03 |
Mr. Wiley....
You are brilliant! I had thought about something similar but did not
consider the possibility that a woman could or even would do something such
as conceal a pregnancy. Your second form is excellent. What ideas would
you have to help people who are already in a situation where they have been
tricked and are currently paying child support for an illegitimate child?
The reason I ask is that most people are not moved to action on this topic
until they are personally affected. Thus, it would be too late for them.
Your proposal works well to protect those who have not yet been victimized
by the problem. It may set a precedent in the future however those who
your document would require the most support from are already stricken by
the problem and thus more concerned about what they can do now. The people
who you call to support your document would be difficult to find as they
are not looking to prepare for something like this. It is the equivalent
of building an arc for a great flood that hasn't happened yet and we all
know how that turned out!...
In any case, I would love to hear your ideas...
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/09/16 |
Keith,
After reading your posting, I must say while I don't agree with all of your thoughts, most strike sharp chords in my heart. I am stuck in scenario #4, only with a twist. Not only is the future mother of my first
"seed" a mother twice over, she divorced the father of the first and is getting child support, she wants nothing to do with the father of he second, and when he gets out of jail she will be taking him for the same ride. While your solutions are ideal, they are dreams at best. I hope I don't become the third in a row to be shafted by this "sly fox." I am smart enough and strong enough to fight back tooth and nail until such time as I'm dead or broke. If it is the latter, I will beg, borrow, or steal to keep my fight alive till I DIE!!!
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/06/25 |
My son who is [...] got a girl who is [...] pregnant. she wants to keep the baby. They were both doing drugs the night of conception and post conception. My son would prefer that she has an abortion. Is there currently any real legal papers as you suggest that he could sign giving up his paternal rights and the financial resposibility. This girl was initially on birt control and stopped using it when they started breaking up. Now my son is feeling an obligation to her however, her mother and I feel that the realtionship is not meant to be for the 2 of them. I think that she wants to have the baby to keep a hold on my son.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/06/19 |
Question...what if the guy impregnates a woman, and she has an abortion because he is not ready for the child. Then he get her pregnant again. Should she have an abortion again for the man, or should the man be held responsible for the baby.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/03/30 |
Genius. There is only one problem. Men have no rights and no one is even considering offering us any. The system we have now works perfectly -- for feminists anyway -- and our legal system is more a foot slave of the NOW gang than an administrator of our constitution. So long as our culture considers men to be disposable and evil things will never change.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/03/29 |
First let me say that a woman recently conceived with my sperm, having (I
believe) deceived me about her use of birth control. Given the time of
conception and that we were on vacation together at the time, I know it is
mine.
I like your proposals, and elsewhere on the net I have seen similar ideas.
But I would like to know from you... To what extent are your ideas likely to
come to fruition in the United States to the best of your knowledge?
P.S. If I am lucky, I MAY be able to get her to sign a document, where I
relinquishing my parental rights and she relinquishes rights to child
support. Such a document may include an "agreed upon restraining order"
(not court issued.) Does such a document (which she signs) exist anywhere?
[...]
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/02/06 |
I think you make many excellent points, and I appreciate your support of a
woman's right to choose. However, in the section about men's rights I felt
you were a little offensive toward women. You make it sound as if women use
pregnancy as something to hold over men's heads. I realize some women do
this, but not many, and you ramble on about that point a little too far.
Saying that women use pregnancy to make men their slaves is ridiculous! As
if women aren't essentially slaves to their children for the rest of their
lives? I am a woman, and I am just as concerned about men having
reproductive rights as I am about women having them. The thing is, the
biological function of having sex is to create children and any man who has
sex with a woman is aware of the possible consequences of that action and
should be ready to take responsibility for that. I think that if the man
does not want to be part of the child's life, that is his decision, but he
should still have to pay some sort of child support. It took both to create
the baby, and it takes both to handle the responsibility, whether he wanted
it or not. This creates a sticky situation, because I also feel that the
woman is responsible as well, and if the man really wants to keep the child
I feel he should have some rights, but that means putting a woman through an
unwanted pregnancy, but she knew that was a possibility when she chose to
have sex. Please look carefully at your section on men's rights, it is
offensive, and you are not going to convince many women to be supportive of
men's rights if this is the attitude you portray towards women.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/02/04 |
Hi Keith,
I'm a junior at the University of [...]. I am in a human sexuality course and my group has a debate in which we are arguing a man's right in the event of an unwanted pregnancy. I am completely pro-choice and I thought it'd be difficult to argue this. Your words make perfect sense and I am taking them into consideration when I choose my official point of disposition. If you have any other support, please email me at [...] In any case, I respect and appreciate what you have said. Take care.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2003/01/23 |
All your thoughts are accurate to a point. However, you did leave out one
thing, witch is: What if the man wants to be a father, but the woman will
not let him, because he doesn't want to be with her anymore? Is it not
wrong for her to say "if your not gonna be with me you won't see your baby
either," or something else along these lines? E-Mail me back and let me
know.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2002/12/02 |
Thank you for your side of the abortion/men's reproductive rights argument. I am actually doing a project through a women's history class, and this topic came up. I find it interesting how women get more of a choice to reproduce without a man's point of view. I'm glad you are thinking about your rights as a man as well.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2002/10/30 |
I'm doing research on this issue for a class i'm taking and what you had to say on your website for some reason just doesn't sit well with me at all. Don't get me wrong after doing tons of reading on this subject I feel men get totally shafted when it comes to abortion but with your solution a women can still in the end be forced into having an abortion that she doesn't want to have. I read about the Male Abortion, which is a document that is signed by both parties at any time before sexual intercourse takes place. The Male Abortion stipulates that the man wishes to remain childless, and that should a pregnancy result from his sexual relation with the female, he is freed from all parental liability and reponsibility, and theat the decision to be a parent is his, and his alone. After reading what you wrote it just reminded me of guys who are pro women's lib so that they didn't have to pay for dinner.
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| Name: | Anonymous |
Date/Time: | 2002/0414 |
In all my research I never found any document, web site, movie, or documentary where a woman was satisfied with the choice of abortion. This leads me to believe that most women may feel a sense of remorse in their decions; consequently, in most cases the feeling of guilt is far greater then they believed. I think your opinion of raising a child is wrong. It is very sad how you say abortion "liberated them from a lifetime of child-rearing servitude." Giving birth and raising a child is a sacred event and never an accident. I am in no way prejudiced or opposed to differing points of view. What I have learned from my research and personal accounts is that the advancements which have been made in abortion procedures have created a false sense of the agony and regret a mother can face. I did not include the other point of view because I could not find it. I could not find anyone who was 100% satisfied with having an abortion. Can you?
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